I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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