I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
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Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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