so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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