please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
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Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
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its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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