just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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