Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize