OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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