Her vagina should come with caution tape.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
