did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Floor bacon is actually really good
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
