It's Friday. Sex?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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