I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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