what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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