I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
