We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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