And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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