No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
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He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
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I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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