my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
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Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize