I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
