if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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