the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
