he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize