Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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