oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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