I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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