Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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