So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
