I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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