so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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