I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
