I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Terrible idea I love it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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