I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
