He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
