Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
