you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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