i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
