i just sent this text using only my big toe
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
