So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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