if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
