Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
