Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
