I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I need water and some morals
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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