i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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