I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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