so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
