Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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