Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Randomize
