You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
