Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
