Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
