He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize