What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
