So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
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He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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