You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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