I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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