She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Randomize
