I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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