So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
