I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you made out with another girl for some wings
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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