it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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