if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i think im in europe. pls send help
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize