I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
