isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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