Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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