I cockslap morals
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
