Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
