we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
