Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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